Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Here's a quiz because I'm bored and ultimatly a copy cat (thanks steve!). I find this strangly accurate...I dunno about the 'not from a weakling' part, but the other stuff seems spot on. What do ya'll think?
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: semicharmedchck |
Bloodie Bonnie screamed @ 3:51 PM | top
Friday, January 20, 2006
If that's how things are gonna work around here....I'd also like a million dollars.
Bloodie Bonnie screamed @ 11:48 AM | top
Thursday, January 19, 2006
List of things I need, in no particular order:
*weed
*booze
*a dude
Your assistance in any of these areas would be greatly appriciated. Thank you.
-The Management
*weed
*booze
*a dude
Your assistance in any of these areas would be greatly appriciated. Thank you.
-The Management
Bloodie Bonnie screamed @ 3:37 PM | top
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Ok, so I am coppying off of Laura. However, I think a lot about what might happen if I were to die/be in some sort of an accident. So here's my unofficial, however exact wishes and living will:
If I am to go into a coma and there are signs of brain function (meaning I could recover and live a normal life) do keep me on life support for a reasonable amount of time. I don't want to be a financial burden on my family, however if I could completly recover, I guess there's no point in pulling the plug.
If I am to enter a vegatative state or to suffer sever brain dammage with no hope of full recovery, keep me on life support for three days, and then please pull the plug. You will not be killing me, because I will be already clinically dead in every way. And even if my body may be alive, that is not living. Please allow me to die with dignity rather than leaving a shell to slowly wither away. Working in a nursing home, I have seen this all too much, and I never ever want it to happen to myself or my loved ones.
I would like my body to be sent off as a viking warrior: put me in a boat with my weapons and the skulls of mine enemies, set me on fire, and push me out to sea. If this is not possiable (hehe) I would like to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in some quiet peaceful area of a forest...perhaps the pine forest in Oak Openings (this is in all seriousness). Make a nice little plack, and plant a tree for me.
I don't think this is morbid in any way...it's important that people know these things, even though I do not have an actual will at this point, hopefully my wishes can be followed. Anyway, I'm happy with my life, and I've never been afraid of death because I live the way I want to and I know God is with me. There will always be things that go undone, but the important part is that I have never had any regrets.
If I am to go into a coma and there are signs of brain function (meaning I could recover and live a normal life) do keep me on life support for a reasonable amount of time. I don't want to be a financial burden on my family, however if I could completly recover, I guess there's no point in pulling the plug.
If I am to enter a vegatative state or to suffer sever brain dammage with no hope of full recovery, keep me on life support for three days, and then please pull the plug. You will not be killing me, because I will be already clinically dead in every way. And even if my body may be alive, that is not living. Please allow me to die with dignity rather than leaving a shell to slowly wither away. Working in a nursing home, I have seen this all too much, and I never ever want it to happen to myself or my loved ones.
I would like my body to be sent off as a viking warrior: put me in a boat with my weapons and the skulls of mine enemies, set me on fire, and push me out to sea. If this is not possiable (hehe) I would like to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in some quiet peaceful area of a forest...perhaps the pine forest in Oak Openings (this is in all seriousness). Make a nice little plack, and plant a tree for me.
I don't think this is morbid in any way...it's important that people know these things, even though I do not have an actual will at this point, hopefully my wishes can be followed. Anyway, I'm happy with my life, and I've never been afraid of death because I live the way I want to and I know God is with me. There will always be things that go undone, but the important part is that I have never had any regrets.
Bloodie Bonnie screamed @ 4:12 PM | top
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
I'm still at home...and I'm still hella bored. I feel kind of forgotten. There is seriously nothing to do, and everyone is either at school, working, or too busy to bother with me. Most days I don't even get out of my pajamas, I don't have much of a reason to get out of bed in the morning. And by morning I mean noon. This is so unhealthy. I really shouldn't live here this summer. Of course, at least then I would have a job or be taking classes or something. But still. I need to do something good with this summer.
Which brings me to a disappointing revelation I had the other day. Earlier this year I decided to go to Ireland this summer. I've got about $3500 saved up, my life's savings. That would be enough to last me at least 4 weeks in Ireland. I've got it all planned out. Hostels and camping, and visiting Anne Bonnie's birthplace. Ireland is my dream. A life goal if you will. But then I realized something. My other life goal is independance. I want my own life. To me independence is represented by having an appartment of my own. No roomates, not being paid for by mom and dad, no boyfriend. Just me. Standing on my own. Now, I don't know what I'm gonna do after I graduate from Denison. Maybe I'll go to grad or film school. Maybe I'll find a job and start a career. But there are a few certainities: I want out of Ohio and I want my own place. I don't want to be one of those people who moves back in with mom and dad for an indefinant period of time. That's not what I spent 4 years in college to do. Nor do I want to be one of those girls who goes from being taken care of by mom and dad, to being taken care of by a boyfriend/husband. I want to be on my own. And as utterly terrifying as it is, it is something I want to do. I can do it. I want to struggle, to scrape by on my own. Cause when I succede, it will be my own. No one can say they handed it to me. My successes will be mine, just like my failures will be mine.
So I was thinking about this, and I realized, even though $3500 isn't a lot, it could really help me when I get into the real world. It isn't much, but it's better than having nothing. And if I spend all that money on going to Ireland, there's no way I can make it all back working somewhere this summer (especially if I'm interning somewhere). So what it comes down to, is what do I want more. And even though I would LOVE to go to Ireland, I NEED independence. I mean, I want it so badly that it's not an option to forego it. And when I imagine my life years and years later even though I'll be disappointed if I didn't go to Ireland, I would be ok. But I honestly think I would hate myself and regret it forever if I didn't try to make it on my own without a safety net. So many women never get to have a real life. They go from one man to another, from daddy to hubby. I can't let that be me, I hate the thought of that. So I realize that independence means work, it means sacrifice. And even though I still plan to someday go to Ireland, I know it won't be this summer. It's a matter of priorities.
I hate money issues. So many people at Denison have everything just handed to them. They don't think twice about traveling abroad, or even taking a roadtrip. And the annoying thing is, it doesn't cross their mind that those things might not be possiable for other people, or that its a big deal for other people. They just assume that everyone has the resources they do. I swear, I CONSTANTLY overhear people talking about vacationing in Italy or France or Spain. They always go somewhere like Tahiti or Costa Rica for spring break. They don't even stop to think about how those trips will be paid for. I swear to God, in one of my classes we were talking about jobs, and over half of the class hadn't worked a day in their lives! One girl actually said it never crossed her mind to work somewhere like McDonalds because that's where 'all the Mexicans worked'. Can you believe that? Some of the people at that school just make me sick. And it doesn't seem fair. But then, life isn't fair. And I like to think that I'm a better person for all my struggling. I know the value of a dollar. I know what it means to work until your back is aching and your toes are bleeding. I know that my parents bust their asses and sacrifice so much to give me the things I have. To give me opprotunities by sending me to a school like Denison. And I know that I can't rely on them forever, that I will be on my own. That I want to be on my own. And someday, when I do finally succede at whatever it is I do, I'll know that I earned it. I worked for it, and I made sacrifices for it, and it is MINE, that no one can say they handed it to me.
Which brings me to a disappointing revelation I had the other day. Earlier this year I decided to go to Ireland this summer. I've got about $3500 saved up, my life's savings. That would be enough to last me at least 4 weeks in Ireland. I've got it all planned out. Hostels and camping, and visiting Anne Bonnie's birthplace. Ireland is my dream. A life goal if you will. But then I realized something. My other life goal is independance. I want my own life. To me independence is represented by having an appartment of my own. No roomates, not being paid for by mom and dad, no boyfriend. Just me. Standing on my own. Now, I don't know what I'm gonna do after I graduate from Denison. Maybe I'll go to grad or film school. Maybe I'll find a job and start a career. But there are a few certainities: I want out of Ohio and I want my own place. I don't want to be one of those people who moves back in with mom and dad for an indefinant period of time. That's not what I spent 4 years in college to do. Nor do I want to be one of those girls who goes from being taken care of by mom and dad, to being taken care of by a boyfriend/husband. I want to be on my own. And as utterly terrifying as it is, it is something I want to do. I can do it. I want to struggle, to scrape by on my own. Cause when I succede, it will be my own. No one can say they handed it to me. My successes will be mine, just like my failures will be mine.
So I was thinking about this, and I realized, even though $3500 isn't a lot, it could really help me when I get into the real world. It isn't much, but it's better than having nothing. And if I spend all that money on going to Ireland, there's no way I can make it all back working somewhere this summer (especially if I'm interning somewhere). So what it comes down to, is what do I want more. And even though I would LOVE to go to Ireland, I NEED independence. I mean, I want it so badly that it's not an option to forego it. And when I imagine my life years and years later even though I'll be disappointed if I didn't go to Ireland, I would be ok. But I honestly think I would hate myself and regret it forever if I didn't try to make it on my own without a safety net. So many women never get to have a real life. They go from one man to another, from daddy to hubby. I can't let that be me, I hate the thought of that. So I realize that independence means work, it means sacrifice. And even though I still plan to someday go to Ireland, I know it won't be this summer. It's a matter of priorities.
I hate money issues. So many people at Denison have everything just handed to them. They don't think twice about traveling abroad, or even taking a roadtrip. And the annoying thing is, it doesn't cross their mind that those things might not be possiable for other people, or that its a big deal for other people. They just assume that everyone has the resources they do. I swear, I CONSTANTLY overhear people talking about vacationing in Italy or France or Spain. They always go somewhere like Tahiti or Costa Rica for spring break. They don't even stop to think about how those trips will be paid for. I swear to God, in one of my classes we were talking about jobs, and over half of the class hadn't worked a day in their lives! One girl actually said it never crossed her mind to work somewhere like McDonalds because that's where 'all the Mexicans worked'. Can you believe that? Some of the people at that school just make me sick. And it doesn't seem fair. But then, life isn't fair. And I like to think that I'm a better person for all my struggling. I know the value of a dollar. I know what it means to work until your back is aching and your toes are bleeding. I know that my parents bust their asses and sacrifice so much to give me the things I have. To give me opprotunities by sending me to a school like Denison. And I know that I can't rely on them forever, that I will be on my own. That I want to be on my own. And someday, when I do finally succede at whatever it is I do, I'll know that I earned it. I worked for it, and I made sacrifices for it, and it is MINE, that no one can say they handed it to me.
Bloodie Bonnie screamed @ 1:36 PM | top